TIPS FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
                     TIPS FOR  
EFFECTIVE  CO
MMUNICATION
WITH YOUR 
SCHOOL  AGED 
CHILD
Talking with your child is a daily event. But, let’s face it, as parents we  
are busy, and it is easier to keep the conversation with our children  
light so we can move on to the next thing on our “to-do” list. There’s a 
 place for light conversation in daily life but there are also those times  
when your child needs for you to tune in and listen more deeply.
Your child won’t tell you this but he or she needs for you to probe into 
 their inner life on occasion to find out what they are thinking and  
feeling. Not only will this help them, and you make more sense of their 
 emotions, but it will also strengthen your relationship with them. They 
 will intuitively sense that you understand them better because you  
took the time and energy to really care.
Listen with your whole 
body
Tips for Effective Pick up on the emotion
Acknowledge your child’s feelings
 Communication  
Delay correction and gather more information  
with Your School 
Try to see the situation through your child’s 
 aged Child. eyes
Avoid shaming your child , rather focus on 
behavior
Encourage your child to think about solutions
When you sense that your child needs to talk, give  
Listen them your full attention. Face them, make eye contact, 
with  your  kneel down to get on your child’s level if necessary –  
whole  even tilt your head – to show that you are really  
body. listening.
When your child has noticeable emotion in their words  
or in their body language, attend to that feeling. It’s  
often useful to make an observation or restate what 
you  hear them say. This sends the message that you 
Pick up on  are  taking them and their feelings seriously. For 
the example,  you might say, “You’re upset because I’m not 
emotion. letting you  go outside to play after its dark?” These 
rsetaflteecmtievents then allow your  child to respond by  
affirming or clarifying what they are feeling and it will  
usually prompt more conversation.
Empathy is one of the most powerful and comforting  
responses we can give to another person, especially a 
 child. When you acknowledge those feelings, you  
validate them. This includes those feelings we often  
Acknowledg think of as “negative,” such as anger, frustration and
e  your disappointment. Often, acknowledgement of their  
child’s  feelings is all the child needs to begin dealing with the 
feelings.  problem at hand. When you validate a child’s emotion 
 you sensitize them to that emotion and give them  
permission to feel it and also acknowledge it in other  
people.
When your child is countering you, resist the urge 
 to correct them immediately, even if you think  
they’re wrong. Hear them out before responding. 
 Better yet, go an extra step by asking your child 
Delay 
 follow-up questions to learn more about why
correction  and they see things as they do. This approach  
gather more  acknowledges your child’s feelings and gets 
information. them  talking. You are likely to get more 
cooperation  when you are willing to hear their 
concerns  versus simply correcting them.
Try to step into your child’s frame of reference before  
reacting. We often expect our children to understand  
adult-like ways of thinking and we don’t give  
Try to see  consideration to how they might be thinking or viewing 
the  the situation. What developmental needs might they  
situation  have in that moment that they can’t directly identify or 
through  ask for? When you can see that certain behaviors are  
your  child’s connected to their developmental needs, it is easier to 
 be rational and patient with an appropriate  
eyes intervention.
Shaming a child diminishes their worth. For example, a  
10-year-old boy knocks over his milk at dinner for the  
third time this week and his father explodes saying,  
Avoid  “You idiot, can’t you be more careful?” Over time, these 
shaming  yo  instances of shame make the child feel defective. A  
urchild;  better approach is to focus on the behavior. Given the  
rather same situation, the father could say, “It’s okay. Let’s  
focus  on get a towel to clean it up, okay?” A child doesn’t know  
how to correct being defective but he can learn to  
behavior.
correct his behavior if given instruction in a supportive 
 and encouraging way.
When faced with a decision that you and your child  
Encourage  disagree on, ask your child what he wants to happen  
your child or would like to change. This helps them see that 
to  think  there  are options to every problem. If they can come 
proactively up with  a reasonable approach to a problem, let them 
 try it.  When we encourage our children to become 
about  part of  the solution, they often have greater 
solutions motivation for  resolving it.
Thank 
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