WHAT IF I DON’T LIKE MY MOTHER-IN-LAW?
                     WHAT IF I DON’T 
LIKE MY 
MOTHER-IN-LAW?
www.jessicayaffa.org
You love your partner. You and your partner have committed to each 
other, through the good times and the bad. But you didn’t commit to 
their family. Dealing with in-laws can be difficult. Especially, a 
mother-in-law. Your partner’s mother was their first caretaker, their 
first protector, and their biggest fan. When you then step into these 
roles in your partnership, it can cause tension, friction, or 
misunderstanding with your partner’s mother.
If you find yourself saying “I don’t like my mother-in-law”, you’re not 
alone. Difficulties with in-laws are common. When you’re merging 
together two separate families with different backgrounds it can be 
tough to be on the same page.
Read on for a few suggestions on how to manage the stress that 
comes when you just don’t like your mother-in-law.
Take some space
You have a choice to interact with your mother-in-law or not. Talk 
with your partner about how important a specific event or 
interaction is for them- if it’s not of high value, don’t go. You don’t 
have to do everything your partner does with their family- you just 
have to present a united front. It’s important to remember that 
you have a choice. Choice helps to reduce the helplessness and 
hopelessness that can arise when you have in-laws you aren’t too 
fond of.
Dig deep for some 
compassion.
This part may be hard because we might find ourselves in a place 
of being angry, frustrated, or annoyed- and compassion isn’t a 
feeling that we can access easily. Remember that when you and 
your partner got together you gained a spouse, but your mother-
in-law lost their child as they once knew them. Having compassion 
for your mother-in-law can help you reduce how much you 
internalize or personalize her words or behavior. It can help you to 
see her as a grieving person, doing the best she can with what she 
has.
Acceptance
The space between our expectations and reality is filled with 
disappointment, frustration, and sometimes even resentment. When 
you can learn to accept your mother-in-law as she is and expect her 
to show up in the way that she has always shown up- instead of the 
way you want her to- you can reduce the intensity of the above-
named space fillers. Acceptance does not mean we condone or 
agree. it just means that we are taking what is being presented in 
the moment and acting accordingly. Remember, acceptance is for 
you, not her. Acceptance helps you to reduce the uncomfortable 
feelings that arise when reality doesn’t meet our expectations.
We need to normalize having thoughts like, ‘I don’t like my mother-
in-law’.
Reality is, we’re not going to like everyone, and not everyone is 
going to like us. However, there are situations in life where we have 
to interact with those people that we aren’t always fond of. They 
may not always be pleasurable situations, but they are inevitable 
and with a little work, we can make them manageable.
If you’d like some help sorting out the strong feelings surrounding 
your in-laws, a relationship coach may be able to help. Reach out 
today – you don’t have to navigate this alone.
Thankyou
!
858-413- www.jessicayaffa.or [email protected]
6063 g