Marriage Counseling Fort Myers
                     Unresolved Martial Conflict:  The Damage It Causes
“Fight in the Sky”
A Painting by 
Mary Newberger
Copyright © 2019  Dr. Ken Newberger
All Rights Reserved.
www.MarriageCounselingAlt.com
Dr. Newberger Serves Southwest Florida
Naples, Fort Myers, Bonita Springs, Estero, and Cape Coral FL
California Condors are North 
America's largest birds.  They 
typically stand at 4 - 4½ feet tall 
with a wingspan of over nine feet.  
Male and female mate for life.
In 1982, the parents of the only 
California Condor egg that 
specialists could confirm had been 
laid that season received a lot of 
attention.
At the time, there were less than 25 
of these endangered birds in the 
wild.
As characteristic of the species, the nest was positioned 
near the edge of a steep cliff. 
Although a California Condor male-female pair alternate 
incubating their egg, usually without a major incident, this 
particular couple began squabbling as to which would sit on it.
When the male sat on the egg, the female 
would come and jab him in the face to 
push him away. When the female sat on 
the egg, the male would do the same.  
At one juncture, the two left the nest to take their 
fight into the air. The birds became so absorbed in 
intimidating and attacking the other . . . 
Neither Tended to
the Egg
This hours-long struggle for dominance led to an 
unhappy end.  
In the midst of their 
ongoing conflict, the 
parents knocked their 
offspring off the cliff.  
It shattered on the 
rocks below. 
Ravens swooped in and ate the lifeless embryo
From a half-mile away, California Condor specialists 
watched helplessly as the scene unfolded.  
This Story Contains an Important Lesson about Marital Conflict. 
It has to do with collateral damage.
According to Wikipedia, “collateral damage occurs when 
something incidental to the intended target is damaged 
during an attack.  [In] military operations, it can refer to the 
incidental destruction of civilian property and non-combatant 
casualties.”
This Story Contains an Important Lesson about Marital Conflict.
It has to do with collateral damage.
According to Wikipedia, “collateral damage occurs when 
something incidental to the intended target is damaged 
during an attack.  [In] military operations, it can refer to the 
incidental destruction of civilian property and non-combatant 
casualties.”
Collateral damage also occurs 
when parents fight.  Children who 
are not party to the conflict still  
suffer its consequences.
This concept of 
collateral damage 
plays out time and 
again in conflict of
all kinds.
For example, during 
2005-2006, journalist 
Kevin Sites personally 
covered every major 
armed conflict in the 
world, up close and 
personal.  He reported 
the following:
Collateral Damage
“I started to realize that what war is about, 
what conflict is about, is only peripherally 
concerning the combatants. It’s only 
tangentially about armies.  
“It’s about the destruction of civilization. It’s 
about the destruction of civilians, their 
landscape, their homes, their lives, their well-
being, their health, their crops, their animals, 
everything that’s involved with war. 
“Even though it seems like it’s about armies going head to head is 
honestly about the destruction of civilians. They get killed in greater 
numbers.  They die from sickness and illness in greater numbers.   Their 
homes, their livelihoods are always destroyed first.”  
Therefore, when we think about Marital Conflict,
we need to make sure we have the right image in our minds.
This is NOT the right picture!
This is the picture couples should see:  your children suffering 
pain and confusion, caught in the middle of the two of you.
The emotional insecurity children experience will
likely be carried into their own marriages,
especially if the two of you divorce.
Collateral Damage:
The Impact of Divorce on Children
The central finding of this study is 
that parental divorce impacts 
detrimentally the [child’s] capacity 
to love and be loved within a 
lasting, committed relationship…. 
Divorce begets fewer marriages, 
poorer marriages, and more  
divorces.
There is
Go to Dr. Ken Newberger’s Website:
https://www.MarriageCounselingAlt.com/couples.htm
 to View His Cutting-Edge Process that Helps Couples 
Reconcile and Bring Peace to their Families Once Again
Serving Naples, Fort Myers,  Bonita Springs,
Estero, and Cape Coral, Florida
Unresolved Martial Conflict:  The Damage It Causes
“Fight in the Sky”
A Painting by 
Mary Newberger
Copyright © 2019  Dr. Ken Newberger
All Rights Reserved.
www.MarriageCounselingAlt.com
Dr. Newberger Serves Southwest Florida
Naples, Fort Myers, Bonita Springs, Estero, and Cape Coral FL