Every Healthy Relationship Has A Healthy Boundary - What About Yours
                     Every Healthy Relationship Has A Healthy Boundary -
What About Yours?
You  see,  boundaries  are  not  limiting  or  restricting.  According  to  the  professional
Kitchener  therapists,  boundaries  provide  the  freedom to  express  your  values  and
needs while even honouring the values and needs of your partner. Setting boundaries is:
 A learnable skill that decides the success and longevity of any relationship
 A prerequisite for emotional well-being
 The essential antidote to co-dependency
Setting healthy boundaries can transform your relationship and elevate your own self-
respect.  Keep  reading  to  become  conversant  with  what  boundaries  look  like  in  a
marriage and the ways to establish them effectively.
Use Clear Communication
Spend time recognizing what is essential to you in your relationship and your life. What
“hills are you willing to die on” and what are you willing to be more flexible? Once you
have identified your specific boundaries, use clear language when discussing them with
your partner:
 I need a ½ hour to myself when I get home from work to decompress and better
help with the kids
 Pressure to have sex makes me uncomfortable
  I am not ok with raised voices during conflict
 Please respect my privacy
 Please do not speed when I am a passenger in your car
Sit down with your partner to discuss your values, put across your needs, and agree
upon boundaries that will uphold these needs. Ensure that these are boundaries you are
both prepared to respect and honour.
Set Clear Consequences
According to the specialists for couples counselling, once you and your partner have
discussed your boundaries - the “must” and “must not’s” your relationship needs to be
successful - the next step is to be clear regarding what the consequences are if and
when boundaries are not respected.
For instance, if you and your spouse agree you will not raise your voices during conflict,
a consequence of yelling during a fight could be pausing the argument and taking a 30-
minute walk alone.
It is imperative that you follow through on the consequences of any boundary violation.
Not following through shows your partner that you do not respect your own boundaries -
and if you do not respect your boundaries, why should they?
Take Responsibility
Keep in mind that everything you do and say has a natural consequence no natter it is
negative or positive. For instance, if you are frequently critical of your spouse, they most
likely will not want to be intimate with you. However, if you speak kindly and refrain
from yelling during an argument, they are more likely to feel secure and desire physical
intimacy and connection.
This same concept applies to honouring the boundaries of your partner. Realize that
what you say and do (or not) has an effect on your partner. Understand that you may
slip up along the way, particularly if you and your partner are new to setting healthy
boundaries.
Seek Professional Assistance
Let’s  face  it,  setting  boundaries  is  hard.  Consulting  with  a  licensed  marriage
counselling and family therapist like Coca Psychotherapy can be extremely beneficial,
particularly  if  you are creating “big”  boundaries  around issues such as child-rearing,
infidelity, alcoholism.