The Impact Of Invalidation In Relationships
                     The Impact Of Invalidation In Relationships
Validation is a critical communication tool and expression of love and acceptance in relationships.
Conversely, invalidation is one of the most damaging forms of emotional abuse. What’s scary, it can
be one of the most subtle and unintentional abuses. According to the specialists for  counselling
services in Waterloo, invalidating a person’s feelings and emotional experience can make them feel
like they are going crazy!
The following are some invalidating statements NOT to say to someone you would like to support:
 At least is it not, or, it could be worse
Seeing someone suffer emotionally can be very triggering to the ones who witness it. Compassionate
people would like to fix the uncomfortable emotion or make it better. When someone cries, we offer
a tissue to wipe away the tears or a tender sentiment in hopes of a smile. If those efforts do not
work, the ante is upped with stronger efforts to ring some relief.
 I am sorry you feel that way
As an experiment, ask a friend to pinch your arm. Instruct this person that no matter what you do
the only response they should give is: “I am sorry you feel that way.” Have them pinched you until it
starts to hurt. Once the pain has irritated you enough, tell the person: “Ouch! That really hurts!”
Wait for their scripted reply. How did you feel? Did you pain dissipate after learning they were sorry
you felt that way?
Of course not!
According to the specialists for  relationship counselling, telling someone “I am sorry you feel that
way” is simply a socially acceptable way of saying, “I don’t really care how you feel, your reality is
wrong.”
 You should not feel that way
The message that a person should not feel a certain way goes beyond disregarding another’s feeling,
it  even  communicates  that  a  person’s  emotional  experience  is  not  a  valid  one.  The  statement
conveys contempt and superiority. Think about it, what gives you the authority or the capability to
decide how a person should or should not feel? Only they know that! Denying a person’s perspective
can - and often does - make them feel crazy, invisible and small.
 Do not think about it, just get on with it
Imagine you have spent a large amount of time training for a marathon. You have worked really hard
to condition your body and you are confident that you have achieved the necessary level of fitness
to run in it. Just a few days before the marathon, an unfortunate accident results in a broken leg.
Sadness, anger, frustration, and deflation might describe a few of your feelings.
Assuming you are not completely unreasonable, it is unlikely that you will tell yourself: “Do not think
about it, just get on with it and run anyways.” Your leg is broken! You can’t run a marathon with a
broken leg, right?
Conclusion
In summary, it is essential to realize just how critical validation is to the health of a relationship. Coca
Psychotherapy has the best  psychotherapist  in  Kitchener that  can help you maintain  a healthy
relationship!